Time with Adam

I'm really enjoying homeschooling Adam again.  We do all of the normal subjects but have been doing extra things like spending a lot of time outdoors with daily walks.  We're loving reading really good books, too (currently 'The Hobbit' before the movie comes out soon!).  As he's had time Steve's been enjoying doing Science projects with Adam as well. They've researched what to plant, built a little glass house and have a whole crop of sprouted veggies on the porch.  They'll start a project about 'clean water science' soon.  I'm studying marine life with Adam and we've had lots of fun examining tide pools on the beach.  Adam wants to start an ant farm that he saw in town next.  If only Mom wouldn't make him do math every day.............

Some of our conversation today:

Me: (reading from 'Story of the World 1' by Susan Wise Bauer) "Shamshi-Adad wanted the people of Mesopotamia to be afraid of him.  He was a dictator-he didn't allow any of the people in his new kingdom to ask questions about his laws and his commands.  He just wanted them to obey him immediately."

Adam:  (interrupting) That's just like YOU, Mom!

(I HAVE been talking to him the past few days about taking his own sweet time getting around to doing what I say!)

Me: (When I could read again without laughing.  It took a couple of minutes.) "How did he get them to obey?  He killed anyone who wouldn't do exactly what he said!" So do I do that as well?

Adam:  Well, maybe you used to have more children than you do now?  I think maybe you actually had 10 to start with........!

Taking a contemplative break during a walk

(Homeschooling is SUCH a rough life for kids!)

Questions......

I had an interesting discussion with a few people the other day about the city where FS is located and it's impact on people.  It doesn't seem to leave people unchanged.  It's such a crazy, dirty, vibrant, sad, poverty stricken, enthusiastic, heart rendering, historic, hard, wealthy, colorful place of fragile beauty and 'in your face' pain.  There's just no where else quite like it!

The city and especially the area where FS is makes people ask hard questions, too.  It seems to make people either reach deeper for answers or, sadly, we know of those who have walked away from their fai-th because the questions were too much.

Questions like:

"Where is G0d in the night sky?
Where is G0d in the city light?
Where is G0d in the earthquake?
Where is G0d in the genocide?

Where are you in my broken heart?
Everything seems to fall apart
Everything feels rusted over
Tell me that you're there"
                   -by Jon Foreman  ('Vice Verses'-Switchfoot)

Or maybe phrased a bit more like this for our city:

Where is G0d in the stolen women?
Where is G0d in the homeless children?
Where is G0d in the poverty?
Where is G0d in inhumanity?

Where are you for their broken hearts?
Everything has already fallen apart
Everything feels hopeless forever
How can you be there?

These are valid questions and ones that we have had to face daily.  And there are no easy answers----except to struggle with it. And not to stop.

As our Rachel said at the end of the conversation I mentioned, (about those who have stopped asking and have walked away) "Let's not let that be us!"

P.S. Today is FS's 11th birthday of offering Freedom!

Another sad day......

Monday was a sad day at FS.  We wish we could have been there with them but were there in our hearts.  On Sunday the call came that another of our beautiful young women had killed herself.  Who it was was a shock, however; a lovely, bright 22 year-old named Shanti (it means 'peace') who had started in screen printing but had been promoted and was working happily in the office for the past six months.  She had even just given out wages to the entire staff on Friday.  There was absolutely no warning.........

She was found hanging from the ceiling fan that was still going inside her locked room.  The last phone call on her phone was apparently from her boyfriend who it is rumored had just broken off their engagement.

Suicides happen far too often in the district where we live.  They also seem to be somewhat glamorized by the young; a final, terrible statement to those who have hurt them.  When life has been hard sometimes hope is scarce and things that 'shouldn't' become too much.

She didn't have to die, however.  She had a loving community of 200 at FS that would have surrounded her. That community is now devastated by the loss.

Maybe somehow the knowledge that others cared so much for Shanti and would have been there for her will keep someone else from following her path.  May HOPE reign..............

Natural Theology

I'm a 'commune with Him through nature' kind of girl.  Something that's been a bit challenging the past few years in the place we've been living----so I'm drinking it up here in NZ!

 HOPE

Amazing double rainbow taken through my windshield.  

 PEACE

View from the reserve a few minutes walk from where we're staying.

TRUST--spring always comes!

One very early rose in the midst of the brown in front of our house.

Making Me

Make me broken

So I can be healed

‘Cause I’m so calloused

And now I can’t feel

I want to run to You

With heart wide open

Make me broken

Make empty

So I can be filled

‘Cause I’m still holding

Onto my will

And I’m completed

When you are with me

Make me empty

Make me lonely

So I can be Yours

‘Til I want no one

More than You, Lord

‘Cause in the darkness

I know You will hold me

Make me lonely

‘Til You are my one desire

‘Til You are my one true love

‘Til You are my breath, my everything

L0rd, please keep making me

                                                   -Sidewalk Prophets

I can't get this song out of my head.  It's what pops out lately whenever I start to randomly sing.  It's a catchy  tune but when I stop to think about the words I get a bit nervous!  This really is the cry of my heart, but lately I'm feeling a bit weary and kind of sore.  I'm not sure I want more 'making' for a while.

Last Saturday was a beautiful, almost spring day in NZ so Steve and Adam mowed the lawn and pulled weeds at Steve's sister's holiday home where we're staying. Adam stumbled up the stairs the next morning moaning and groaning whenever he moved.  He's still sore today.  Since he's one of those perpetual motion nine-year olds I was surprised, but I guess he used muscles that he hadn't for a while.  

Sore muscles.  They're a good thing because they make you stronger.  Sore hearts/spirits?  I guess they make you stronger too.  And that in the long run is good.

"Til You are my breath, everything.........."

"The LOrd is my shepherd, I have all that I need." Ps.23:1 (NLT)

Click to listen to the above song.

Aaron goes back to boarding school tomorrow.  It's been a very sweet time of getting days of the six of us together in New Zealand! Yesterday we went to our favorite hang out place as a family before Hannah had to go help lead a camp this weekend.

The Hard Stuff

Quite a few people that I love are going through really awful, shattering, life altering stuff: sickness, death, divorce, watching grown children make bad decisions, depression, a spouse in jail, bankruptcy.  And that's just people in the USA and NZ.  Heartbreaking.

When people are sharing sometimes the best thing to do is just listen and love.  But while I can't solve their problems I want to encourage them as well.

In the middle of the struggle it's hard to see the light at the end.  It's hard to see beauty through the shadows and pain.  It's hard to imagine that something good can come from the ashes.

Steve was reminding our family the other day about how the Good News was originally spread. It was through persecution when the people scattered because they were forced to leave Jerusalem and through the blood of martyrs.  Sometimes terrible things, while still terrible, aren't only what they seem. And He still looks after us through it all.

"Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, G0d's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before G0d. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for G0d is worked into something good."

                                                       -  Rom. 8:26-28 (the Message)

But what can we do in the middle of the struggle when we can't see the end?  There's no easy answer but here are a few things I've jotted down when my own road has been rough and I've found solace in His Word:

1.  WAIT and TRUST -  "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength, they will soar high on the wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint."  -Is. 40:31   "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.  Wait for the LORD ; Be strong and let your heart take courage ; Yes, wait for the LORD."  -Ps. 27:13-14

2. HIDE in Him - "G0d is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble"  -PS.46:1  "Do not be afraid , for I have called you by name; you are mine."  -Is. 43:1  "See, I have written your name in the palms of my hands."  -Is. 49:16a  

3. Find PEACE- "Can all of your worries add a single moment to your life?" -Matt. 6:27  "Why are you afraid?  Do you still have no faith?" -Mark 4:40 (After J3sus calmed the storm)  "For he will order his angels to protect you wherever you go.  They will hold you up with their hands so you won't even hurt your foot on a stone."  -Ps. 91:11-12

 "Rehearsing your troubles only results in experiencing them many times."  -Sarah Young

4. Rely on His STRENGTH- "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I willboast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Chr1st's power may rest in me." -2 Cor.12:9  "Look to the L0rd and his strength; seek his face always." -Ps. 105:4

5.  Guard your THOUGHTS- "So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death.  But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace." -Rom. 8:6

"In the process, I've come to believe that G0d will never waste our pain-----but I can." -Glynnis Whitver

6. FOLLOW Him- "I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths. I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth.  These are the things I will do:  I will not forsake them" -Is. 42:16

"I was documenting the storm going on right now and suddenly realized that there are beautiful things happening all around us all the time, if we would just open up our eyes and see them ."

-quote and photograph by my friend Katherine Murray Williamson

Imagine the smile on His face as we enjoy the things that He has made for us!  Especially when they are moments of beauty in the middle of a storm........