Water, the preserver of life. It's always an issue in our city. There's been a screaming match going on outside my window for more than half an hour. I don't need to look out or listen too closely. It's in the direction of the tap in the lane on the outside wall of our building----the fight is about water. Twice a day for a couple of hours the water flows and the women in the building across the lane come out and have to share a common tap. It doesn't always go well!
I'm glad that the yelling is on that side of the building today. The last few days there's been discontent in the courtyard on the other side of our building, the place where we enter our home from. The people who live there are tenants that FS inherited with the purchase of this building. They live in rooms that where probably servant quarters, store rooms or stables in the courtyard a hundred years ago.
The tenants are actually privileged. Not only is there a tap in the courtyard that they get water from a couple of times a day(just like the people in the lane outside), but there is a well that they can use any time for washing things or bathing. A while back Steve and helpers piped the water from the well so that part of it can be pumped to use for the bathrooms of the T-shirt unit in the building, but also so the tenants in the courtyard can get water from a tap anytime they want without having to drop a bucket in the well. They were thrilled!
Until a few days ago when the well dried up. Steve told them over and over that the well was dry and that we had to wait for it to fill again. The first day it was random comments asking what was going on. The next day turned into demands for Steve to do something. The following day people sat in small groups in the courtyard demanding and muttering to themselves. By the end of the day they were angrily fussing at anyone in our family who came out of the house. They thought that by continuing to harass our family that Steve would somehow make the water appear.
It reminded me of the parable of the persistent widow who asked and asked and asked until her request was granted. I think sometimes we interpret those verses that we must nag our Father the way that the tenants were nagging and demanding from our family. But is that what He intends?
I don't think so.
In the parable the widow was asking a judge who "neither feared G-d or cared about people." (Luke 18:2) We have to remember that! J3sus goes on to say that wouldn't our Father be more quick to answer? Of course!
We are definitely to be persistent in talking Him because He's told us to. He wants relationship with us and knows that we NEED relationship with Him. But our attitude when we come to Him shouldn't be to hound Him into giving us what we want but this attitude instead:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by pra.yer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to G-d." Phil. 4:6
I remember a time in my life when I felt like I desperately needed an answer (the one I wanted, of course!)---and the heavens were silent. By pushing willfully all I did was create stress and anxiety in my own life when the truth of the matter was that He had the situation in His hands the whole time---and worked it out better than I ever could have my own way.
It's all about relationship through coming to Him often and trust.
The issue with the courtyard tenants and the well has eased somewhat. My smart husband siphoned water from our own tanks (pumped when the water comes on a couple of times a day) into the pipes by the well. He's hoping that the break will allow the well to catch up a bit. So I guess their persistence paid off-----but it was stressful for everyone!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Life and Death
Today they're burying my first father-in-law. We're sad that we can't be there but oh so glad that we got to see him before he passed away. The situation has me pondering the concept of death a bit.
I look at a painting on my kitchen wall that I brought to remind us of Fiji. It's of frangipani flowers, a beautiful explosion of beauty and exquisite smell from a tree that spends a lot of it's time looking like it's dead. The man who painted the picture is a leper we know who can no longer walk and doesn't have all of his fingers. Beauty again from the dying.
It reminds me of my father-in-law's face as I hugged him 'goodbye' what I knew would be the last time. I told him I loved him and he whispered, "I love you, too, sweetie." I looked at his face and saw the bit of radiance there that I'd seen a number of times during our recent visits to see him, as if the veil between life and death was getting thin for him and the light of his eternal home was starting to seep through. Beauty.
It's a thin veil really. I will never forget Hannah's words as I performed CPR on my father-in-law's son's earthly body. Medical help doesn't come right away in Fiji and things like how LONG to keep trying CPR don't stick from the classes until you need to know. Hannah said, "Mom, it's OK. That's not Daddy anymore." The veil between life and death is thin.
I will be remembering my mother-in-law today and the days to come. To continue life without the partner of 50 odd years...... But I'm not sad at all for her husband. He's seen the Face I long to see. He's beheld His glory! And he'll never be in pain, sick, or sorrowful again! Beauty!!!
It reminds me of my father-in-law's face as I hugged him 'goodbye' what I knew would be the last time. I told him I loved him and he whispered, "I love you, too, sweetie." I looked at his face and saw the bit of radiance there that I'd seen a number of times during our recent visits to see him, as if the veil between life and death was getting thin for him and the light of his eternal home was starting to seep through. Beauty.
It's a thin veil really. I will never forget Hannah's words as I performed CPR on my father-in-law's son's earthly body. Medical help doesn't come right away in Fiji and things like how LONG to keep trying CPR don't stick from the classes until you need to know. Hannah said, "Mom, it's OK. That's not Daddy anymore." The veil between life and death is thin.
I will be remembering my mother-in-law today and the days to come. To continue life without the partner of 50 odd years...... But I'm not sad at all for her husband. He's seen the Face I long to see. He's beheld His glory! And he'll never be in pain, sick, or sorrowful again! Beauty!!!
Grandpa chasing a tiny Hannah on the beach in Fiji
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Lessons Relearned
(excerpt from a letter to friends)
I have lots of things rumbling around in my mind today (even though a bit sluggishly!). The main ones are fairly simple lessons but ones that I seem to need to learn repeatedly in my life in different circumstances. I'll share them with you in case you can relate.
The first one is centered around my grieving at the changes coming up in our family soon that I've mentioned frequently for months now! I'd thought I'd gotten past it a number of times only to have it come back again. When we were getting near the end of the trip in the States I was equating coming back here with Aaron going to boarding school soon and my emotions were getting the best of me again. One day as we were all traveling in a car and talking, Steve reminded us of a verse in a totally unrelated way that spoke right to my heart. It was:
"If you cling to your life, you will lose it,
and if you let your life go, you will save it." Luke 17:33
It made me realize that what I was grieving was the way things have been for so long with my kids by my side and that that's what I was wanting to cling to. But our relationship is not over! It's going to change a bit, but I can't cling to the way it's been.
There are many things in my life that I've let go of already only to find that He IS more than faithful and I've found life richer because of it. I've just never applied that verse to my life in this circumstance before.
Another thing is from that same conversation in the car. As we talked we all expressed that the main thing that we weren't looking forward to on our return here was the sp1r1tual atmosphere that we live under. It's just very oppressive here that way and it's difficult to live above the hopelessness, anger, and despair that we feel around us every day. We don't mind the dirt, heat, and daily living challenges nearly as much as the oppressive weight that we often feel. We talked about how much we appreciate those of you who remember us faithfully and how we need to remember to do the same for ourselves.
Right before we came back I heard that a book I'd intended to read sometime was on sale for Kindle so I got it. It's called 'One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Were You Are" by Ann Voskamp. Her writing is a bit poetically flowery but through it she really paints a picture that touches the heart. Through it I've been reminded of the old phrase, "Attitude is Everything," something that I had to learn over and over in my years in Fiji. The premise of the book so far (still reading it) is that while we live our day to day lives through up's and downs that the way to live 'fully' is by cultivating joy in our hearts through an attitude of thankfulness. I'm saying this very simplistically, but it's been a good reminder that attitudes are a habit, habits take an effort to change, and that in the oppressive environment here I'd begun responding with the habit of a heavy heart.
I remember years ago on an outreach in China when things were still pretty simple in my young life recognizing this very truth and walking around singing "The joy of the L-0-0-0-rd is my strength," until it became true in my heart. Sometimes we should take notes from our younger selves!
Anyway, in the book Ann V. talks about how making a list of 1000 things that she loves changed the habit of her heart after a lifetime of living drearily because of hard things in her life. So while I may not (or may!) end up making a physical list myself, I'm going to work on applying that concept afresh to my life here.
I have lots of things rumbling around in my mind today (even though a bit sluggishly!). The main ones are fairly simple lessons but ones that I seem to need to learn repeatedly in my life in different circumstances. I'll share them with you in case you can relate.
The first one is centered around my grieving at the changes coming up in our family soon that I've mentioned frequently for months now! I'd thought I'd gotten past it a number of times only to have it come back again. When we were getting near the end of the trip in the States I was equating coming back here with Aaron going to boarding school soon and my emotions were getting the best of me again. One day as we were all traveling in a car and talking, Steve reminded us of a verse in a totally unrelated way that spoke right to my heart. It was:
"If you cling to your life, you will lose it,
and if you let your life go, you will save it." Luke 17:33
It made me realize that what I was grieving was the way things have been for so long with my kids by my side and that that's what I was wanting to cling to. But our relationship is not over! It's going to change a bit, but I can't cling to the way it's been.
There are many things in my life that I've let go of already only to find that He IS more than faithful and I've found life richer because of it. I've just never applied that verse to my life in this circumstance before.
Another thing is from that same conversation in the car. As we talked we all expressed that the main thing that we weren't looking forward to on our return here was the sp1r1tual atmosphere that we live under. It's just very oppressive here that way and it's difficult to live above the hopelessness, anger, and despair that we feel around us every day. We don't mind the dirt, heat, and daily living challenges nearly as much as the oppressive weight that we often feel. We talked about how much we appreciate those of you who remember us faithfully and how we need to remember to do the same for ourselves.
Right before we came back I heard that a book I'd intended to read sometime was on sale for Kindle so I got it. It's called 'One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Were You Are" by Ann Voskamp. Her writing is a bit poetically flowery but through it she really paints a picture that touches the heart. Through it I've been reminded of the old phrase, "Attitude is Everything," something that I had to learn over and over in my years in Fiji. The premise of the book so far (still reading it) is that while we live our day to day lives through up's and downs that the way to live 'fully' is by cultivating joy in our hearts through an attitude of thankfulness. I'm saying this very simplistically, but it's been a good reminder that attitudes are a habit, habits take an effort to change, and that in the oppressive environment here I'd begun responding with the habit of a heavy heart.
I remember years ago on an outreach in China when things were still pretty simple in my young life recognizing this very truth and walking around singing "The joy of the L-0-0-0-rd is my strength," until it became true in my heart. Sometimes we should take notes from our younger selves!
Anyway, in the book Ann V. talks about how making a list of 1000 things that she loves changed the habit of her heart after a lifetime of living drearily because of hard things in her life. So while I may not (or may!) end up making a physical list myself, I'm going to work on applying that concept afresh to my life here.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Fresh Eyes
We've been back from the US for a couple of days now. I'm finding that after being away I'm able to look at the place that we live with fresh eyes.
A photographer who was here a few months ago commented on how the city with all of its contrasts is a photographer's dream. When we first got here the not-so-pleasant sights and sounds distracted me so much that it took me a while to see the beauty as well. Since we've come back I've been able to see some of the loveliness more clearly than ever before. It's an exotic place!
My fresh eyes are also singling out things that were commonplace before the break and making me notice now:
-A little girl who's obviously been given the privilege to carefully hold the morning's sacrifice to the gods while walking proudly before her mother on the way to a nearby shrine.
-An old woman of the lowest caste scraping up dried human dung off of a lane as part of her job in keeping it clean.
-The constant aggression that people in this city have just to survive and make their way in the mass of humanity.
-The contrast of the surprising generosity of someone going out of their way to interpret for a foreigner who's gone past their language capability.
-The watchful eyes of men that look at me like I've stepped out of a fashion magazine (while I'm in basic local clothing) simply because of the color of my skin, and the assumption that I probably have the morals to match.
-The lovely faces of the women at FS!!! They make it worth it and it's good to be back!
A photographer who was here a few months ago commented on how the city with all of its contrasts is a photographer's dream. When we first got here the not-so-pleasant sights and sounds distracted me so much that it took me a while to see the beauty as well. Since we've come back I've been able to see some of the loveliness more clearly than ever before. It's an exotic place!
My fresh eyes are also singling out things that were commonplace before the break and making me notice now:
-A little girl who's obviously been given the privilege to carefully hold the morning's sacrifice to the gods while walking proudly before her mother on the way to a nearby shrine.
-An old woman of the lowest caste scraping up dried human dung off of a lane as part of her job in keeping it clean.
-The constant aggression that people in this city have just to survive and make their way in the mass of humanity.
-The contrast of the surprising generosity of someone going out of their way to interpret for a foreigner who's gone past their language capability.
-The watchful eyes of men that look at me like I've stepped out of a fashion magazine (while I'm in basic local clothing) simply because of the color of my skin, and the assumption that I probably have the morals to match.
-The lovely faces of the women at FS!!! They make it worth it and it's good to be back!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sighs
A friend brought my attention to this verse a while back:
"You know what I long for, Lord;
You hear my every sigh." Ps. 38:9
I realized I've been sighing a lot lately. Sighing recently because of stifling heat in the country where we live, sighing just from being weary and needing a break in general but especially from the language study that seems endlessly slow (Why can't I have a Tower of Babel experience, please, and just know how to speak it?!), sighing because time is going really fast and I'm not looking forward to two kids moving away in the coming months. Sighing...........
But just like how He knows each tear that I cry He knows each sigh that I sigh. He knows the big and small things that I sigh about-------and He hears!
Perfect Timing
I found Aaron unconscious a few days ago. The next hour or so was pretty scary until he was coherent again and had been evaluated in the hospital. It's amazing how comforting it feels to know that your child is in capable hands when the situation is well beyond your own expertise; in this instance the hands of qualified medical staff in an excellent children's hospital.
It was a relief to see him looked after well but at the same time from the moment I realized that something was wrong, I felt an amazing sense of His hand through it all. I didn't know what was wrong with my son but I knew that a phone call would bring help right away. I knew we were in the country that, while costly, has the fastest and best medical help on the planet. If it had happened where home is to us now it would have been a totally different scenario! He is good and He is in control.
"And we know that (He) causes everything to work together for the good of those who love (Him) and are called according to his purpose for them." Rom: 8:28
Note: Aaron had a seizure and apparently it's more common than I ever realized for a kid to have one at some point. He had blood work and a CAT scan which were normal so the doctor said that unless he has another one that we should basically live life like this one never happened.
Catching Up!
It's about time that I write something here! While I love writing and keeping people up to date on us I think I was a bit on overdrive the past couple of months as I took on extra work at FS that kept me at the computer more. And made me want to sit at it less when I wasn't working!
We are curretly in the States catching up with people after 2 1/2 years away. It's especially important for Hannah since after this she will go back to FS and work for a few months but will then be headed towards Uni. in New Zealand at the end of the year.
We will be in the States for 4 more weeks and will be in several different states communicating about our work and seeing people in that time.
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