Sheep and the Shepherd

We've had a really fun experience recently of hand raising an abandoned lamb. For lots of New Zealander's lambs are nothing new but for this partly American family it was an awful lot of fun--especially since she slept happily in the garage through the night so there were no night feeds involved!

Happy little lamb!  Five days old.

Steve thought 'Chops' or 'Mint Sauce' would be great name choices for her but Adam would have none of that!  A happy medium for our current house full of mostly males who love cars was "Lambaahgini" (emphasis on the 'baah'!) Lambaah for short.

We fed and enjoyed her for 2 1/2 weeks (she even went to Adam's soccer game once!) but then since at three weeks she really needed to start eating good grass, she went to live with friends who had more grass and also a little lamb who was getting lonely of their own.  But she still remembers us when we stop for a visit and runs to the gate baaaahhhing to see us.

Steve and I both have found ourselves thinking a lot about sheep and shepherds.  The absolute dependence of the sheep.  The devotion of the shepherd.

Lambaah and her shepherd (2.5 weeks old)

The Lord is my shepherd; 

 I have all that I need.

2 

He lets me rest in green meadows; 

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

3 

    He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

 bringing honor to his name.

4 

Even when I walk 

through the darkest valley, 

I will not be afraid, 

 for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

 protect and comfort me.

5 

You prepare a feast for me 

in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil. 

My cup overflows with blessings.

6 

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me 

all the days of my life, 

and I will live in the house of the Lord......

 ......forever.

                          ~Psalm 23 (NLT)

I am the good shepherd: I know my sheep and my sheep know me.  ~John 10:14

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.  ~Matthew 9:36

If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders away, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others on the hills and go out to search for the one that is lost?  ~Matthew 18:12

Once you were like sheep who wandered away. But now you have turned to your Shepherd, the Guardian of your souls.  ~1 Peter 2:25

Walking up the fence to see us when we visit (5 weeks old)

She still enjoys a cuddle!

"My" Kids? (Things I'd like to tell my younger self #2)

I just read a post by someone on Facebook who has made a friend and in the process of that has just gone to see the friend's mosque with her.  My instant response was, "Awesome!  Good on her for doing that!"  Having lived cross-culturally for so long in the middle of other religions, it thrills me to see people going out of their comfort zone to pursue a friendship like that.  I love seeing people who are confident enough in what they believe that they are not threatened by others, and who care enough to truly reach out with their time, energies, and be vulnerable to pursue a friendship like that.  We want people to be interested in OUR ways but how are they going to if we don't show respect and interest in THEIR most cherished things?

My thought processes went on to why we sometimes back off from friendships like that, from people who are different from us.  Not necessarily religion but socioeconomically, culturally, racially.  I think for parents sometimes the initial response is being protective of our children. To be friends eventually our kids will play with theirs and do we want that?

This has been a challenge for me for my kids' whole lives. I've had to evaluate the in's and out's of who they can play with and what the boundaries on the relationship are.  A lot.  What's really important?  What's preference and what's vital for the protection, maturity level, etc, of my child?

I've made some good choices and I've made some not so good ones.  My kids have seen lots of contrast. They know things about the world at large that my mother's heart wishes I could have just protected them from.  They've had to grapple with disturbing, mind-bending concepts way 'too young'.

But what's really best?  I've never bought into the philosophy that we just protect our kids, only show them the real so that later they'll 'recognize' the counterfeit.  No, I believe that we are called to be Ambassadors. Ambassadors can't only live separately. They must be part of the environment where they are.  Our kids need to be given experiences along the way that are counter to the culture that we want them to embrace so they learn how to be ambassadors in the foreign land of 'other.'  So they can walk confidently in who they are and be a real contrast to the world around them---not gobsmacked in the face by the difference when they reach adulthood and find themselves in culture shock and not knowing how to respond.  We don't toss them to the wolves as they grow either, but give them doses of and training throughout their childhood.

Yet I've discovered along the way that despite my best intentions, that my children have seen and experienced things that I wish they hadn't as well. Things that went well beyond the small doses that I wanted.  Things that they're having to process and, yes, even heal from now.

We just don't live in an ideal world whatever our ideals may be.  And sometimes in the Third World that's even more 'in your face' and doesn't even pretend to be polite.

This has been our journey. Our 'price' for the life we've lived.  I don't think we've 'sacrificed' our kids in the process----but there have definitely been sacrifices.

This leads right into my second "what I would like to tell my younger self" post.  And that's that........OUR CHILDREN ARE NOT OUR OWN.

Hannah at about six weeks old.  Look at that hair!!!

I remember the first time I held my tiny little Hannah.  It was a bit delayed since she was an emergency C-section and I didn't really get to hold her until the next day.

I had never seen anything so precious!  And I fell in love.

I wanted to protect her and keep her safe.  But at nine days old she was back in the hospital with a huge IV in her tiny little arm.  In fact, each one of my children had something with their health at the beginning of their lives that made me give them back to God.

Beth Moore blogged recently about the death of Rick Warren's son, "Nothing tries our faith like the suffering of our children.  At the end of the day, our faith is what the devil is after most.  Without it, it's impossible to please God!"  Nothing can tear at a parent's heart quite like the suffering or troubles of their children.  

Our children are gifts for a season.  And one of the hardest challenges in life is giving them back to God.  

I had an experience a couple of years ago where I was doing dishes at my sink in my Third World home.  One of our children was really struggling and I found myself evaluating the cost involved in our then situation. I found myself thinking, "There are a LOT of things I'm willing to sacrifice for you God, but I will NOT sacrifice my children."  

Instantly Abraham and Isaac came to mind.  Oops!  I remembered that He MAY ask us to 'sacrifice' our children in ways we don't understand.  (full story here:  Dishwater Surrender ) I had to give my child into his loving hands that day and ask for the 'ram' in their life. Ultimately our children aren't 'ours.' They're His.  And He can do a lot better job with them than we can.  (But that doesn't mean I wouldn't still throw myself in front of a train for any of my kids!)

A while back I was really concerned about one of our children and was given this verse of encouragement:

"This is what the LORD says:  Do not be afraid!  Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's."  -2 Chron. 20:15

I will always need to keep giving them to God.  My intentions have been good, my heart has been loving, yet both my decisions and circumstances certainly haven't been perfect.  (But perhaps 'perfectly' what He wanted for their lives???) I have had many joys watching them grow, but have regrets as well.  Yet, whatever He has allowed to happen or will still happen in the future, He is in control for His particular plans for them.  And He is good.

Any my kids are pretty awesome people as well!

First thing I'd like to tell my younger self (He is REALLY in control!)

Sometimes I feel like this photo.  Absolutely futile.  Young Luke Skywalker may have his trusty R2D2 on the back, but he's just on a pushbike with the bad guy of all bad guys, Darth Vader, right behind him on a flash motorbike!

Sometimes life leaves us with more questions than answers.  I've spent the last few years learning a foreign language.  I've put a lot of time, effort and energy into it.  I've learned a lot, but the disheartening thing is that the more you know, the more you realize that you DON'T know!

I don't have half of the answers that I thought I did when I was younger.  There are many, many things that I don't understand---terrible things the young me had no idea of.  And I've seen more complex questions and know of things that seem to have no earthy answer: poverty, injustice, bad things happening to good people, sickness, hard things happening to me and those I love........

But I've learned even more than my younger self knew, that He is the ONLY one who has the answers. And that He is SO in control for our good.  We can trust Him!

Lately I've been drawn back into that age old (at least from back in the early 90's!) game of computer solitaire.  Sometimes it's good for dialing down my mind into a relaxed mode and gives me a bit of space to think while I play.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm actually pretty good at the game!  I win quite a bit more than I lose.  I must confess, however, to hitting the 'hint' button at the bottom of my screen when I can't see a way to win and it all looks hopeless.  I'm amazed at how many times even in my 'expertise' the computer shows me something that I've missed.  Often all I need is a bit of help more expert than my own for that one move, and the whole game I thought I'd lost just unravels.

God is the real expert on life.  The only one who is able to sort out our tangled webs. The One that knows that next move or step that will unravel our messes, even when we can't see it ourselves.

I've taken great comfort lately in realizing that the Apostle Paul was human, too.  As I've read some of his letters I've read things like:

"In fact we expected to die.  But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead"   ( 2 Cor. 1:9)

That's the reason for the unexplained things in our lives!  I've found it's a wonderful, freeing thing to relinquish the 'game' or thing in life I'm trying to succeed at and find a deeper reliance on Him----who is totally in control of our lives even over the power of death.

He really KNOWS us.  Everything about us.

To be known is to be loved.  Ephesians 2:10 says we are His 'masterpiece.' (NLT)  I love that picture!  It speaks of  the great care and time He takes with us. We can trust His movement in our lives.  God wants us to depend on HIM.  He's not limited by our limitations.  God's going to do what He wants---but he invites us to join Him.

"Often God will call you beyond your limitations to do something that requires faith.  It's not so much about what He wants you to do as what He wants to do IN you, as you depend on Him." 

~Renee Swoop

So step out with confidence!  He's in control.  And "Is anything too hard for the Lord?"  (Gen. 18:14a)

What it's like....

Well, I lied.  I meant to come back and start a series next, but a friend put up a blog post that I want to share.  It's an excellent expression of what it's like for women and the thought processes you are forced to go through in 'our' part of the city that we've been living in. It's by a friend in a much loved, sister business to FS. 

It's something the females in our family have faced to some extent, and we haven't enjoyed it.  But it's the life-long reality of women that we love there.  While not pleasant, it's given us a small glimpse of understanding into their lives.  And it's ALL of their lives. Not just when they choose to be there like us.  

Don't read if you're easily offended--but it's reality and it will challenge you.

My favorite part of the blog:

"It is not just my experience. It is my community’s. It is an entire population’s. And I am aching to know how to bring change to it."

Click the link below to read:

Beth's Blog

The Main Thing

I was asked to speak somewhere last Sunday for Mother's Day.  I thought about what to say, got a few ideas rolling in my head, and finally sat down at my computer to write something down.  So I sat down and procrastinated a bit (as you do!) by checking email, etc, first.  Waiting for me in my inbox was a photo sent by an old friend that I don't ever remember seeing before:

This is me at about 17.  Young, idealistic, full of dreams and hopes for the future!

So I based my Mother's Day message about some of the 'majors' that I would go back and say to her if I could.  Things that would give her a head start on life.  Things that I wished I had grasped earlier--or am still learning!  

I spoke briefly on a number of subjects and felt like I could say more on each. I've decided to start my first ever 'series' of posts and write them down here.  

But first here's something else I rediscovered a while back.  This is a poem I wrote a couple of years before the above photo was taken based around Galatians 2:20  “I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.  And the life I live now in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave up Himself up for me.” 

I wonder where my life would lead

If I would live not giving head

To all my wants and my desires

I dare not listen to worldly liars

I cannot let my life my life slip by

Just trudging on and wondering why

I must not live it as lie

No, I must die, not physically

A better kind, eternally

A kind where I find life in death

A kind that gives me life and breath

A death where someone else comes in

That Someone wants me free from sin

I’ve found that I am dead with Him

But as He did I too arise

His light and love to fill the skies

And I myself will not grow dim

‘Cause I’m becoming more like Him

Hand and hand we’ll walk the road

And He will take the heavy load

Until I am like Him

I write this here not because it's a great literary masterpiece--it's not!--but because it was the cry of my heart then.  It's still the cry of my heart today.  It's the MAIN THING.  

So next post I'll begin to share some of the other 'majors' that I've learned along the road on the way........

You're invited to walk with me!

Reflections on (or reflection of!) Light

"I am the light of the world.  If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life."     -John 8:12

Light

Dispels darkness

Soft glowing iridescent

Shines brighter in the absence of

Peace

"You light a lamp for me.  The Lord, my God, lights up my darkness."

 -Ps. 18:28

"I am the moon with no light of my own

Still you have made me to shine

And as I go in this cold, dark, night

I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to You.

You are the sun."

                                 -Sarah Groves

Divine Exposure

light

does not

choose to make

the shadow, and Christ

does not choose to judge the 

world; but goodness, it's

roots deep in God,

always exposes

wickedness

                                     -Richard Kidd

"Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble.  Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon."  

-Is. 58:10

Light......

Valuable in Him

We've all done it. We've looked at the evening news, seen tragedy foreign to us and not seen the people as, well, REALLY people. We've seen that filthy homeless person with obvious mental problems and when we catch a whiff of his unwashed-for-some-time body, recoiled like he's more animalistic than human.   

I read this this morning:

"In this new life, it doesn't matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave or free.  Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us."  Col. 3:11

He may not live in them YET, but he wants to.  Just as much as He wants to live in you and me.  

One of my favorite stories of love is kind of gross.  One of our brothers from where we've been living the past few years saw a drunk man on his face drowning in urine. Yup, you read that right.  There are places all over the city where men turn towards a wall and use it as a public urinal. One of these is the side of our local Metro stop that faces the street.  There is literally a small pond of urine there all the time.  

Other people saw this man choking as well, but just walked by.  Our co-worker didn't hesitate but reached into the liquid and pulled him out.   That's what love looks like people.  Real love.

I recently found this quote that is one of the best I've ever seen about reaching out to others.

"People in the poorest countries that rely heaviest on aid are human beings—quite often, very thoughtful human beings—with equally valuable and important places at the table of God's mission in the world as anyone else......Jesus was not known as one who dished out meals to prostitutes and other vulnerable sinners. He sat with them and ate with them. Doing mission, then, probably needs to look more like a shared meal than a soup kitchen, with none of us bound in gratitude except to God alone." 
 -Rachel Marie Stone

Awesome.

That leads beautifully into this quote that Hannah put up on Facebook the other day:

I believe in Justice,
But I am not a preacher of the gospel of Justice
But the gospel of Christ who calls us to Justice
I Believe in Love
But I am not a preacher of the gospel of Love
But the gospel of Christ who calls us to Love
I Am committed to Peace
But I am not a preacher of the gospel of Peace
But the gospel of Christ who calls us to Peace
I believe in the value of the simple life
But I am not a preacher of the simple life
But the gospel of Christ that calls us to the simple life
Let us be aware of the ultimate plagiarism of borrowing some great concepts from Jesus, then running off proclaiming these concepts and not sharing the Christ that empowers these concepts.  
-Myron S. Augsburger

It's all Him.  Any gratitude belongs to Him, both of the receiver and the one privileged to give in His name.  Any presentation of peace, love, justice, hope, freedom is hollow without pointing the way to Him and giving credit where credit is due.

Him.  In us, but NOT us.  No one better than the next---but infinitely valuable all the same.
"And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through him to God the Father.........Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ."  Col. 3: 17, 24